i do bad things because i listen to music with swears
Do the birds and bees ever hang out or do they just fuck every time?
One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.
my favorite flavor of cake is more
SOMEONE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU A LOT TODAY PROBABLY
Cigarettes do kill,
Life goes on,
with or without you.
— sad facts that come along with existing (via chilledtea)
i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes
my look for 2014: bereaved mistress showing up to the funeral against the wishes of the family